I know that we are who we are and we all have personalities and stuff but how much can a parent actually influence their child? The final product as such..
I have to get this down because for some reason it’s really playing on my mind, I think I was really wounded by it.. Maybe I’m scared that my daughter will more than likely be subjected to incidents like these over the years, and I don’t want her to be. I want her to be safeguarded and oblivious to prejudice and cruelty.. Maybe home schooling isn’t such an irrational idea? Maybe these wacky hippy mums who bring their children up on seaweed, segregated on boats.. learning about wood and water appreciation aren’t so wacky after all.
Yesterday whilst wondering round the sale aisles of Marks and Spencers, dodging elderly feet and weaving between fallen cardigans.. I came across a little girl and her mother.
This little girl was around 4 years old, so pretty young and unaware, but in my opinion still aware of what’s nice and not nice, and perhaps what shouldn’t be said? (Am I expecting too much for a 4 year old?) Anyway this little girl said to her mother “I don’t like babies” to which her mother replied “yes you do” and without any hesitation she pointed directly into my pram and said “well I don’t like that one”.. The mother looked at me and then just walked the other way with her daughter.
I was flabbergasted by this to say the least, I didn’t know what to do, I looked down at my daughter who was looking back at me completely innocent, smiling and gurgling away.. how could anyone not like her? I was actually shaking! And in shock.. Despite my short lived teenage rebellious stage I am not a confrontational person.. I don’t act quickly when it comes to comebacks and I usually find myself standing stiff in situations such as these. So I did just that, I didn’t know what to do, so I just stood there hurt, feeling completely sorry for my daughter and feeling only what can be described as disgust for that child and her mother.
I know I sound most likely like a complete drama queen because seriously it’s not really a big deal is it? Kids say thoughtless things all the time they don’t mean it!! But it really did cut deep..
It made me afraid, that one day she’s going to have to go to school and I won’t be there to defend her (or to stand there startled and hurt for her).. I won’t be able to push her away in the pram! I don’t want her to be hurt or ridiculed, the reality of the whole situation just hit me.. I remember being teased and it’s still very raw to me now.. The last thing I want is for her to receive any negative comments from anyone. Ever!
So basically what I’m getting at is.. sure the mother didn’t apologise which personally I thought was cowardly and hideous.. But that little girl? Was she being rude? Because she’s little does she know? She has no idea how much that hurt me.. was she rude because of her mother? I don’t know.. and how protective can I be before I protect too much? So much so that one day my daughter will experience something much worse and she won’t be able to cope with it?
I’m not ill-mannered, but maybe my daughter may say something rude one day and really hurt someone, of course I would apologise.. and she would be made to also, but how much control does a mother really ever have over what their children say in the moment? What I’m wondering is.. When a person is born how much can they be shaped into being a nice person? And even if they are shaped.. Are they really a nice person or are they just a heavily disciplined nasty person?
Bit of a senseless blog really but I needed an outlet.. now to try and forget the matter and move forward with my home schooling plans, how ridiculous would it be to bring my child up knowing very little about Maths and English but a hell of a lot about baking and pot painting.. Advisable? Honest answers please.
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