I haven’t done this in a while, and to be honest I haven’t even been able to look at anything I wrote because it’s all a bit embarrassing.. A bit like hearing yourself sing after you’ve secretly recorded it to hear what others hear. I’m a terrible singer.
I also got into an argument a while back and in the heat of a texting war and spelt a few things wrong.. Which I was ridiculed for and I did feel a little bit stupid.. Then I thought all my blog posts were probably grammatically incorrect and that I should just delete them (yes I’m aware I analyse too much).
I decided not to delete them all because then I thought perhaps one day when I’ve had 6 children, and a dog or two I can look back and laugh at my inability to deal with a minor bought of haemorrhoids, or sigh at my lack of knowledge on all things motherly..
But here I am writing another post, not sure why.. But it is raining and I have baked 9 lemon cupcakes and eaten 5 so as a distraction to my apparent binge eating disorder I’ve ended up here.
Cassie’s turning one on the 18th, I can’t believe she’s going to be one!! She has real walking shoes and eats with her fingers now! She still can’t sleep through the night but when people ask I lie and pretend she does, in the fear of someone dishing out more advice to me about how to better my parenting skills.. I’ve tried everything!
I have a military routine set out through the day, she has a strict home made no salt or additive or anything nice diet, and so I’m not giving her anything that would keep her awake.. But still she refuses, so therefore I have decided it must be just because she’s really clever.
See because she’s so clever her brains is in overdrive so she can never fully relax to sleep, a bit like when you have an exam the next day! Too much knowledge crammed to switch off.. (I realise this is not the case but my theory keeps me going).
But apart from that things are tickidy boo.. Still breastfeeding, I know shock shock horror I breastfeed my walking talking real shoe wearing person, but I remain a firm believer that these little people wean themselves off!
My Husband is in fear that I’ll be one of those mums that breastfeeds their school going child, and as much as I laugh I can’t pretend it hasn’t crossed my mind… I just can’t imagine breastfeeding not being part of my day now! Although I have faith she will one day opt for an apple juice instead.
Doing nights has possibly already aged me quite considerably, it’s like the worst pain being so tired that your dizzy but still having to have eyes in the back of your head because your beloved is obsessed with anything electrical.. and likes nothing more than to have a good old dribble into the remote.
My body clock is all out of sorts, I don’t know what to eat or when, so I end up eating a Cornish pasty at about 3am then a packet of Jaffa cakes on the way home at 8.. by lunch I’m just not sure where I’m at.. I’m cleaning my teeth at the oddest times of the day, basically I’m just one big muddled up monster! It’s a bit like being pregnant actually.. Like you have insomnia but you’re also shattered and your brain makes no sense and it’s sort of enjoyable, but it’s not.
Talking about being pregnant is this the time when your body starts screaming HAVE ANOTHER ONE? Or am I just so sleep deprived I’m missing the days of Cassie only waking up to eat and poo, that I’ve forgotten all the other bits like the labour and the hourly night feeds.. I don’t know what’s going on but I’m becoming all broody! I miss my bump and I want that rush of the unknown again! All these womanly motherly hormones rushing round, it’s a dangerous business.
Anyhow that’s that, my daughter just threw one of my relaxing candles behind the sofa which is fantastic.
Now I’m going to make sure this is all grammatically correct because now I’ve made people aware my dumbness so the mistakes will be even more visible.. But in my defense I’m one of those people that are better with their hands. (don’t make that into a dirty thing- I meant like dressing leg ulcers and stuff.. and pottery). xxx